For many of you that know me, you know that I'm an open book. I've never had a problem with sharing my feelings or thoughts. So, it only seems natural that I would blog about the most frustrating thing in my life right now.....infertility.
Here's some background info: I've actually been playing this game on and off for 5 years. I became pregnant 3 years ago. Unfortunately it ended in a miscarriage at 12 weeks. Devastating time for sure. So a year and a half later I decided to really "try again." I had surgery to check everything out. Tubes were just fine. Russ checked out A-Okay too. Nothing was "wrong." So we moved to the next step......Clomid. Well, it didn't work out so well. My emotions were a wreck. I just wasn't in a good place so I quit after 2 cycles. Sooooo.....here we are today.
I'm back on Clomid. I just started my 3rd round. You can only stay on Clomid for 6 cycles. Basically I'm dropping eggs like bombs over here but no pregnancy is taking place. Very frustrating. The medicine has funny side effects too. The most obvious one is the shaking. I shake like a crack head every day. It's almost comical. My doctor says it's because it's a steroid so my body is all amped up. You'd think that would help with losing weight.....negative flight tower. It's annoying....that's what it is. Don't get me wrong.....I'm willing to do whatever it takes to have a baby so I'm not trying to complain. There are some things in this process that suck.
Next step? Fertility specialist....Dr. Dorsett on November 1st. I'm totally pumped but a little nervous at the same time.
We have so many people praying for a little baby Sewell. If you are one of those people I truly thank you. I will accept any words of encouragement. scripture, and/or advice. Just don't tell me to "relax." I'm totally working on that and really my stress level is okay. I love my job, my marriage is better than ever, I have amazing family and friends....so life is pretty peachy. Oh, and don't tell me to "adopt because then you'll have a baby." Yes, people have said that. I would never adopt in order to get pregnant. That's silly.
I'm having total 100% faith that God is going to bless us with a child. I don't know how that baby is going to get here. Who knows.....3rd month could be a charm and we don't even have to see the specialist. I don't know. But if we do I'm okay with that too. I'm not giving up this time. Plus, God knows the perfect time for baby Sewell to rock this world. In the mean time I just have to go with the flow and be patient.
I'll keep ya updated!!