On the verge....

I can't really say it's a "quarter life crisis"....I had that when I turned 25, my hair started turning brown so I cut it off...thus starting the "I'm going to change my cut and color every 5 weeks trend."

So what is this urge to wear giant plastic earrings, 50 bracelets, strange clothes (that are border line unprofessional being a 2nd grade teacher) AND have ANOTHER urge to just cut all my hair off again...not to mention the urge to go crazy on a few new tattoos???

The strangest urge is the one where I'm looking for a new job. And not just another teaching job. I mean a new career..... Honestly it has nothing to do with where I teach, nor the people I teach with. I couldn't be more blessed to be where I'm at. I'm in a great highly sought after district and I teach with my best friends. But yet.......I'm starting to feel smothered. Like I'm a big ol' lump of mashed potatoes with 20 lbs of gravy pouring on top of me and I can't break free. Maybe it's just the "stress" but don't we have that in ANY career? Why is mine so pressing all of a sudden? Why do I feel like I can't breath in the morning when I'm on my way to work? I think it's because I get told how to do my job every day by "unqualified" people ....either by people who haven't sat in a classroom in the last 20 years or by parents who don't trust a single decision I make....and not to mention a scary generation that is being taught that it is "all about them"....anything they want they can have...scary...

Do you remember getting in trouble as a kid in school? I was a lil' chatty..imagine that...and well, when my teacher got on to me you could BET I was in trouble when I got home. There were no questions about the teachers intent....I broke a rule and my parents were on that teacher's side no matter what...not to mention my lil' butt was getting a well deserved spanking when I got home. NOT today. Good grief....if a child gets in trouble you as a teacher better have a 5 page report typed up on why they got in trouble, get ready to hear from that parent with a 20 minute phone call and you know another phone call that will go to the principal, documentation of what the child's emotional status was at the time, and a pro-active self improvement plan for the child. Oh, and what kind of "trouble" are we speakin' of? Lil' Johnny was talking in class so you marked his character card. Sheesh..I lawsuit is even pending for not allowing freedom of speech.

****Disclaimer: I really do have some amazing kids in my classroom and I think I'm a pretty darn good teacher. I've been blessed by many of these kids and their parents....sadly, our profession has an alarming turn-over rate...and the 5th year is when we see these good teachers jump ship****

I know that we are supposed to take one day at a time...I think the Bible even has a handy dandy scripture on that somewhere....but Oh my gosh....this is only my 4th year....I cannot simply fathom the next 30. I'll be bald. I feel like I'm in a room with 20 barn yard animals trying to get the chickens to act like cows, and trying to make cows grow wings.

My hubby wrote a blog a couple of weeks ago about pursuing our passions and our dreams.

I'm pursuing something different with an education degree.....